The Little Ranger: Show Me

Piedmont Depot

Once a year I go out into the hinterland and search for railway stations which have been preserved, however temporarily. Some are sadly in disrepair and others are used by their companies as storage or workshops. A few are preserved by proud communities for a variety of purposes. This year's excursion was entirely within the boundaries of Missouri, my home state since 1974.

Touring the Show-Me state this year was a tour of discovery. Not so much because of the depots I found to be in--or sometimes not in--existence, but because of the things I observed while cruising the back roads. For instance:

1. The roads in this state are either very good (M13, US 60, US 67) or very inadequate (pretty much the rest of them.) The further north you go in Missouri, the better the roads. Where I was, down south, they are up-and-down, winding and curving affairs with no shoulders and steep dropoffs. You are always at the mercy of the slowest driver

who is easily identifiable, leading a string of cars at 35 m.p.h. endlessly through the forests. Some of these roads are fairly smooth. Some cry for help. None will attract tourists.

US 67 NW of Poplar Bluff

2. There is an obsession here with deer. Many in the Midwest are deer hunters; some like to think they are deer hunters -- then there are the yahoos who just like to shoot things and call it hunting. Out in the sticks it is approaching unhealthy. Convenience stores are named "Deerschnaks" or "The Buck Stops Here". There are tree stands everywhere. Every store sells something related to deer: salt licks, camo suits, guns (gun shops are everywhere), hunting licenses, trucks and trailers. Cafes advertise deer dinners. Banners proclaim churches selling box lunches for hunters who intend to disappear into the woods for a long time. Down in Texas County, Butler County, Ripley County--it's all about deer.

3. Parts of rural Missouri are pretty but the residents don't seem to know that and regard the Ozarks as their personal trash barrel. I have never seen so much litter--not in Kansas or Oklahoma, not north of I-70, not in Platte County--but it's all over in Show-Me south. This is a shame; it really detracts from the rustic, unspoiled appearance of these areas.

4. There is a fortune in beer cans in that litter. No matter the price of aluminum. It's a fortune.

5. Missourians seem to hit a lot of animals with their cars down there. An unprecedented number of possum, deer, raccoons, birds and a few unidentifiable remains--hundreds and hundreds of pounds of them--graced the roads. The one animal that seems to have learned to coexist with cars is the squirrel. I saw no squashed squirrels.

6. The best of the roads are limited to 65 m.p.h. for some reason. Decent, four-lane divided highways cry out for 70 but don't get it. It's like the state officials know they are going to under-maintain the roads; this way they don't have to go out and change the signs when the crumbling begins.

7. In Poplar Bluff, you must drive a pickup truck. It's The Law. You have two choices: gas-fired with dual tires in back, or diesel, about five feet off the ground. The truck should always have a thick coat of road dust, mud and dead bugs. No one had new cars. I don't even remember seeing a dealer.

8. Out in the country it is common to see a new, or newer, home with a nicely manicured lawn across the road from a cluster of decaying mobile homes in various states of disrepair. These trailers always have orbiting satellites of old cars, inoperable washing machines, more big dirty pickup trucks, and collapsing corrugated tin sheds. There are occasionally decent looking mobile homes with wooden steps, but it appears most are barely habitable. There is always a nice RV nearby; maybe that is where the people actually dwell.

There are some great towns and places in southeast Missouri. Piedmont is a pleasant, picturesque place on the banks of a clear Ozark creek. Ironton is another, and Mountain Grove is a clean, prosperous town. Most towns don't fare as well as these have. The streets are in poor repair, homes are unkempt and there look to be few sources of employment.