Summer of Healthcare, part II

"OK, here's what we'll do. We'll get them in here, make them nice and comfortable and take a long tube with a camera and some tools on the end of it and run it right up their butts. We'll take movies of their intestines and they'll love it. We'll make a fortune."

So maybe it isn't this simple, but it still so successful that even the empty heads at Medicare can get their brains around it.

This then is the second part of my summer of healthcare, all of this prompted, of course, by my impending unemployment. First the minor surgery for cyst removal and now my 5 year colonoscopy. It is nothing one anticipates but it really wasn't that bad.

For starters, they changed to a different anesthetic. Before, they loaded you up with Demerol. It leaves you groggy and sleepy for a while, but after you get home you have what may be the greatest nap in the world. The new knock-out of choice is the same thing Michael Jackson overdosed on last year. You are out and awake with no concept of the loss of time and at least as clear-headed as you were before they began the procedure.

Last time I woke up about half way through--this time there isn't a chance in hell you wake up until they want you to.

The prep is also a little easier. There is no - and I still don't even like to use the word - enema. It has been replaced with 38 doses of Miralax with a half gallon of Gatorade. It isn't a huge improvement because no one can drink a half gallon of lemon-lime Gatorade in three hours. The attempt is enough to make you borderline sick, but at least that's it. No enema to follow up at the end of this gag-fest.

The people that work doing colonoscopies all day long are cheery and friendly, and very reassuring. Some how they sense that folks are leery of having a load of stainless steel fed up their Sigmoid, and do their best to answer questions and allay all fears.

I just kind of wonder what they all talk about while they're at work. If they could write it down or put it on tape they could make a fortune. The books they might write would sell millions and turn into movies starring Adam Sandler or maybe David Spade and their brothers in bathroom humor.

Actually I have no doubt these folks are very professional. Most all I know who work as physicians and staff are extremely careful, exacting and as skilled as their training and experience permit. And this particular procedure has been recognized to actually save money in the prevention of colon cancer. Medicare is even planning to cover them at 100 percent, assuming that Medicare survives. But it is a reflection of the effectiveness of what they do.

But you just know they have to have a few really good stories. I hope I'm not one of them.

Hiding place

Finally, we are closed.

We worked the last airplane and made the last retail run to the stores. We all enjoyed a last chance to be with each other at a farewell dinner. Except for six of us left behind to ship everything out everyone has scattered; some to new jobs, most to unemployment. A couple are done working for good.

So now all that is left is to load up some trucks and send forty years' equipment and payroll records and steel shelving off to other more successful shops. A group of people piles up a mountain of paperwork in that amount of time.

But not now, not with the wheels of commerce ground to a halt. It is odd now, working in a place that was once vibrant, active and loud. The hum of all the coolers is gone. The ice makers aren't dropping ice with the familiar metallic clang. The air conditioners still blow air but it is no longer very cool. They are old and porous enough that gas doesn't stay charged long and leaks away. Just like the business and the employees.

9-11 was the end of it in stations this size. Accounts were already beginning to downgrade service and the attacks merely accelerated the process. So much had already been lost. Full-service airlines became full service in name only. United distinguished itself from Southwest only by offering a reserved seat or perhaps a flight overseas.

Full service lives on in the hubs and in gateway cities with international flights. Flying back and forth to Europe, one might not notice the changes as much as in Kansas City.

I can't help wonder if the city had offered to cut the rent back that we might have been able to make a go of it. They wouldn't hear of it, although the building has been paid for several times over. They simply were satisfied letting 15 more folks go on the unemployed rolls and their building go idle.

That's OK: At least a few city employees will have a new place to hide from their supervisors--unless the supervisors are hiding in there too.