Go inside.

If it isn't too much trouble, could we all practice some courtesy at drive-through places? I mean, some people turn into narcissistic wackos when they roll up to the speaker at McDonalds--which translates into rude. The lesser among us will sense not just rudeness but disdain and disrespect which will lead to rage, and on to violence, then murder, general disorder, world domination by thugs, anarchy, armageddon...OK, maybe I got carried away there but consider a few basic rules when you drive-thru the bank or Hardees:

1. Keep it simple. If you have a huge complicated order with special requests, like "no onions" or "medium rare" could you park your car and drag your fat butt inside and not clog up the traffic in the drive-thru while you spell all this out? They are going to get it wrong anyway and you know that. Go inside!

2. The car that beats me to the speaker every time is driven by a person who doesn't have a clue what he wants (I said "he" but really this is not a gender-specific issue) and as a result 10 cars wait while he weighs the qualities of the grilled chicken versus the Quarter-pounder with cheese. Then there are always fries to consider.

Often this is a matter of being completely uninformed. ("Does that come with mayo? Is it on bread or a bun? How many fat grams in that?") If you are considering an unfamiliar item--GO INSIDE and look at the menu. Chat with the counter help; there is never anyone in there. They are all behind YOU outdoors in the drive up lane.

3. At the bank, would you please not try to negotiate a loan in the drive up lane or at the ATM? Again, GO IN! Why would you try to solve an overdraft problem through a bad two-way speaker and two-inch thick bulletproof glass? I have seen this done. Please don't make the clerk tell you this is something to resolve with an assistant manager in the office. Just keep it down to deposits, withdrawls and paying your bank box rent or car payment.

4. Be ready! Be ready with your food order. Have your money out and ready to pay. Have your deposit ready. Have your ATM card out, ready to go in the slot. Act like you know what your are doing, even if it is an act.

5. Please don't sit at the pickup window and unwrap every sandwich to make sure they didn't put pickles on your burger. Pull up out of the way and let the traffic move. Keep doing this and I swear someday you will be followed home and--if you are lucky--only your car will be damaged.

6. At the ATM, it is OK to take your card, money and receipt and pull forward to count your withdrawl, put everything back in your purse or wallet, readjust your mirrors, change radio stations or CD's, etc. It is actually preferable to do that in order for the car waiting patiently behind you to pull up and conduct ATM business. If you continue to rudely make others wait, you may find yourself being shoved out into the street before you are completely prepared by the woman in line behind you with PMS who really doesn't care what the front of her car will look like. Being shoved might be the least that will happen if you are fortunate.

OK, enough. Just a few rules. Gas is expensive, and fast food isn't very fast these days and many of us are in a hurry, uninterested in your dietary concerns. We can't control that the bank has only one of their 8 drive-thrus open or that the kid at Taco Bell got your order wrong. Don't make the rest of us pay. Put some social back in society.