What is wrong with Minneapolis anyway?

Apparently metropolitan Kansas City, Missouri, is one of the least desirable cities to which people might choose to move. A new study [who paid for this one?] has polled people who want to move from their present city and asked them which locations they consider most desirable. We are fifth up from the bottom in a list of 50 or so. Only Minneapolis, Cleveland, Cincinnati and Detroit are considered worse places to which one could relocate.

This raises all kinds of questions--
Is it the weather; hot summers, chilling winters and the annual tornado fest? [Also no tidal waves or earthquakes.]
Is it the 'cowtown' image? [No cow poop on my boots.]
Is it the lack of mountains, beaches or national parks? [And lack of touristas?]
Is it the do-nothing City Council and the Funk-and-Squit show at City Hall? [Hard to argue this one.]
Is it the hi-crime city center? [Yeah, where else is crime this rampant?]
Could it be disdain for stereotyped Midwest overall-wearing bible-thumping, plain-speaking rednecks? [Talk about prejudice...]

Probably all of the above and more. I think there is a prejudice against us Midwesterners in the east- and west-coast dominated media. We often seem to be the national retarded child kept in the basement, a source of great civic embarrassment of which little is spoken and of which little is inquired. Unless of course the President and staff are looking for a place to store the Gitmo terrorists, figuring they will die on their own of boredom once installed in cells at Fort Leavenworth.

Well here is hoping we have the last laugh. Homes are most reasonable here. Gasoline is most reasonable here. Starbucks is on every corner. Good restaurants are everywhere [you know, even the uppity kind with $35-dinners displaying lots of white plate and few edibles which are so popular in trendy Greenwich Village and Marin County.] The mountains and the Gulf are a long day's drive at hand. The air is fresh and we have four distinct seasons. In 90 short minutes you can stand in the majestic silence of the Flint Hills or at the edge of the Ozarks, by yourself on a gravel road truly away from it all.

So this is a good poll for us. DON'T MOVE HERE! Stay in Santa Barbara, Austin and Boston. I mean, gee, the rush hour already lasts from 0730 to 0815. Let's not add another 10 minutes to it. And, hey, have some tender corn-finished Connecticut beef for dinner tonight!

Now if only we could start over with the Mayor and City Council...